Introduction (hidden draft)
In the hundredth year after the ascension of Christ into that heavenly place, and the apostles having traveled throughout the lands performing miracles and preaching the word, many have turned to Him and called Him by name. However, many others have built all manner of temples to worldly things, and worship therein instead.
I am called by the name Virus, a citizen craftsmen in the practice of statuary. Some days ago, a fellow citizen named Iratus commissioned me create a statue of his lately departed father, and acquiring the marble stone, I set to work. On the first day I chiseled the legs, on the second the torso, and on the third the arms. On the final day when the work was due completed, I set to work on the head of the figure.
I started the day early, carrying my tools outside and beginning to tap my chisel into the grainy marble. The sun hung low at first, close to the earth. But soon it swung higher into it's path through the heavens, casting a brilliant white sheen on the ground, and sending a crushing heat atop my shoulders. Each movement of my arms holding the hammer and chisel felt as moving about in a thick swamp, and I began to tire.
Nearby was a large vase of wine, and seeing no man nearby to claim it, I fetched it over, and lifting it up towards my mouth, took a deep draught. I I immediately felt a warm glow insinuating through my limbs, and dispelling the heavy air from around me. I thought to myself, If one gulp of wine had this effect upon me, surely another two or three would even greater increase my vigour, and I might finish my work in half or quarter time. So, I lifted the vase again and took numerous draughts. Then I set back to my work.
Slowly, I felt a rising tide of euphoria building in my chest, and I began to giggle gleefully. My vision began to blur, and the face of the statue was no longer clear. Soon I could contain myself no longer, and dropped to the floor rolling this way and that, my chest heaving in fits of raucous laughter, and I fell asleep.
I awoke to a sharp blow in my ribs, and a muffled shouting. Opening my eyes and sitting up abruptly, I saw Iratus standing above me gesturing off to the side. Looking over, I saw the statue of his father, but to my horror the head of the statue was not of a man with locks of hair, but of a sheep with thick mane, wide eyes, and open mouth with quivering tongue, as if bleating in laughter.
Before I could explain myself, Iratus grabbed my collar and dragged me unceremoniously into the nearby street, where some citizens were passing by. "This rascal has dishonored my dearly departed father! I commissioned him create a statue of commemoration, and he created a statue in my father's likeness with the head of a bleating goat! For this mockery, I must demand satisfaction." A small crowd had gathered about us and Iratus drew his sword.
Seeing that the situation had spiraled out of control, I saw no option but to draw my sword as well. However, I did not know that this man was employed at the grindstone of the imperial barracks, and was thus familiar with all manners of forms in slashing and thrusting, while I held my sword awkwardly like a chisel.
In a flash, he covered the ground between us, and I saw a blur of cold blue steel before my eyes. I fell and tumbled over once, my chin landing upon the ground. Off to the side I saw a headless corpse. That was strange, I thought, I didn't remember a corpse being nearby, and it was wearing a handsome green tunic, much as the one my wife had purchased me on my day of birth celebration. Suddenly, remembering my attacker, I made to stand up. To my horror, I moved not, but the corpse before me rose to its feet. Realizing what had happened, I screamed.
Luckily, in the crowd was a man of medical practice, having come from a recent visit and holding a red hot cauterizing iron, fresh from the furnace. He ran over and quickly, using his iron, cauterized the veins in my neck, and thus I live.
Now, being only a head and having no arms and legs, I can neither walk nor use tools, and thus my former trade is closed off from me. However, I can see and speak easily, and can even ambulate freely about. By opening my jaw and striking my chin upon the ground, I can hop about as a happy frog in a swamp, and by wiggling my nose, I can roll freely this way and that, as a leather ball that children play with in the street.
Thereby, I have decided to take up work as a missionary of the Lord, and so investigate the variegated temples which the unbelievers have built, and commune with them.